Saturday, 4 February 2012

A writer's (very unknown writer) delusions and expectations.

So it’s the middle of the night and I have nothing to do. I’ve decided to write this. Look away now if you don’t want to hear some of my literary fantasies (strictly literary fantasies, not other fantasies which is private..)
I’m always telling to myself the past few days that “when you epublish your book, it doesn’t mean it’ll get famous!” but hope against hope, I wish I’m wrong. I know its delusional but, hey, what cha gonna do about it? I wrote a book from scratch, and I did it when I was studying a very hard course in college (it’s not even related in writing at all) with a licensure exam, and it’s been five years of waiting just so you know. I need someone who’ll appreciate it when I e-pub it in kindle. But I’m afraid of heartbreak it won’t sell… (sigh…)
I can’t easily say that my story is complex, but its complex. The topic is deep and very controversial. It’s the typical story of good versus evil, and yet intricate with all the explanation. I won’t reveal information about it just yet (my editor is still doing his job, and when I say editor, I mean a friend which is highly allergic to wrong grammar and punctuations). It have a male protagonists (which I doubt will be famous because female protagonists is now the current hype) and he’s a very loner 16 year old. It’s just something happened to him and discovered what he is all by himself. You know, just between us, its freaking (I want to use the other f word but… well, you get the point) hard to do that. I guess that’s why some of the past mainstream novels have another protagonists that when he or she arrives, all become magical and interesting (see Twilight, Mortal instruments, trylle series. Which I all love). Well, my story is not like that… it’s a bit gross, and funny at some point in the story. I don’t know, I’m not in the proper place to decide that its actually is, I’m the author for Pete’s sake, no one read my book completely except for my girlfriend, so, how should I know? I just hope whenever I publish it these coming months a single reader would love it.   
And somehow (and I mean it), I don’t care about the money… well that’s not entirely true. I want the money to pay for my necessities like food, clothing, etc. The main thing I want is for the story to be heard… well… read I mean.
So if one day (IF one day) you read my book and discovered this ancient and outdated blog. You see what I felt before e-publishing it… dread, excitement, nervousness…um… (You, give me another adjective. Wait. I can handle this)… horror and disgust to my delusions (damn it! I’m out of adjectives again).


  1. It's completely normal to be nervous about ePublishing. It's scary, but exciting at the same time. You will get sales, and people will like your book. There will also be people who don't like your book, but no one can please everyone. When I got my first negative review a couple weeks ago (and thankfully, it's been my ONLY negative review thus far *knock on wood*), it took me down. I started questioning myself and my writing. But then I got over it, really. I dwelled on it for an afternoon, stopped writing and backed away for the rest of the day. Then I woke up the next morning and realized I really didn't care that I had a bad review. I truly couldn't have cared less that it was there, or that someone didn't like my story, because what did it matter?

    Don't write for the critics, write for the fans. Ignore the negative, soak in the positive. Write because you love it. Chase your passions, and the money will chase you. People WILL read it (and I'll be one of them, I assure you), and you'll get people who absolutely love it and people who didn't really care for it. But no matter what, just keep writing. :)

    1. Thanks for the advice! and I will do (keep writing), but I guess if I ever have a bad review (knock on wood too), i'll be slightly dive into depression. And when I say depression, It means 10 hours of sleep in my part. But yeah, sooner or later we'll just realize negativity wont do much to us, and we'll just keep doing what we love - writing. :D