Some writing tips from a writer who needs some writing tips

Today, I have nothing to do so probably I’ll post some of my previous writing and the edited ones.

When I wore my first book, I think it had more or less 200,000 words. I’m very verbose back then, filling my sentences with unnecessary words and terms that had a great impact on the flow. Thankfully I think I learned my lesson.

The following prologue is the original prologue of my book (Trinity: The Divine Wheel). I changed it because of some issues that would influence the first impression in my story. Read on and you’ll see.

In the beginning of time God created the heavens and the earth.

¹Time before time, God created the angels. ²And God saw the angels were pure and just. ³God separated the kinds of angels. He called the fiery-ones as Seraphims, the closest to him as the thrones and the Cherubims. His powers, he called the Archeleos and a hundred ranks more. But the greatest of them was an angel called Lucifer – the angel and bringer of light. 

Creation of all

⁴Let there be light” God said with only his biblical voice radiating into an eternal horrific abyss. And there was light.

⁵God created man, the very first human being, and God named him Adam. ⁶God destined the man to take care and enjoy the beauty and the delight of everything on the promise land, Eden.

⁷God ruled for the angels to treat the man with superiority, higher than them, and without question all the angels complied except for one, the one who was seated at the right hand of God, the angel of light. ⁸Lucifer refused to kneel in front of the inferior being – man.

⁹Even though Adam had all he could possess, he still felt that something was missing, a companion. ¹⁰So God created the first woman from man, and God named her Eve. ¹¹They lived happily in the Garden of Eden, and all of it riches were theirs forever.

¹²But God implicated one rule, and one rule only.

¹³There was a tree which bears the fruits of knowledge of good and evil, where its color was indescribable, and with the most magnificent beauty.  ¹⁴God forbade them to eat this said fruit, and that was the first law, the only law at that time of Adam and Eve.

¹⁵Lucifer started to question God. ¹⁶ “If all is equal in the eye of yours, why angels bow down to Adam, Why my father? My creator…” the angel of light asked. ¹⁷You… are the greatest angel, they are the youngest of my creation, he have the will of freedom to chose… Adam now has an Eve… I created them equally, and I love them. What love I give you is different from what is for them… it doesn’t mean I love you less” God said. ¹⁸Lucifer eventually turned against God, didn’t accept what has been told,. For he thought he could do better than Him. He tried to conquer God’s kingdom, but he was defeated with the help of the Archangels. ¹⁹Lucifer banished from the heavens because of his growing pride and given another name, Satan. ²⁰Satan was angry with the Man, Adam and the woman, Eve. ²¹His great plan was for them to eat the illicit fruit, and for them to be banished also from the promise land. Unfortunately he succeeded. 

-                     Abditus Biblia dei: *ALPHA  * JEVNESIS*1:20

In the beginning of time, there was nothing.

But in the abyss there was a Big Bang that came from a primeval atom not larger than a smallest part of a matter, and there was light. A violent explosion that started it all, the galaxies, the solar systems… the universe

As our universe evolved, life begun; and all animals started as a basic single-celled microorganism called extremophiles, which turned into a more complex rational organism to the process known as evolution. Eons of biological development the first animal emerged, millions of years more they turned into the Homo sapiens, humans.

Suddenly as the humans understood the universe, as they created theories that explained the creation, they began to question the one who created them.

Man, questioning if there was a creator, if there is a possible being. That was the angel of light absolute plan, to erase the idea of heaven and hell, the idea of beings of the cosmos.

Let there be light, and there was light…

As Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, a war began. A war which continues until this day, a war of the ones who believes in higher power and the ones who were opposed to this said being. But there was another war… a war that was hidden from our eyes, the unseen battle of the beings touched by the heaven and hell; stepping away from our nightmare and dreams and into reality.

Beings, mortals, humans, a person consist of three parts written in any holy scripts by divine messengers: the soul, the body and the spirit, are known as triparticus. There were many meanings to spirits given by mortalkind, but there was only one true meaning… and that was Angels.

When the time Adam and Eve were exiled from the land of Eden, God had given them spirits, spirits which would guard them, ‘till death do they part they will; therefore a new rank of angels were born, the Guardian angels.

Satan gathered a legion of fallen angels and he created Archdemons, as God created the Archangels. During the early ages, when the earth was young the fallens influenced the humans and they were winning, and the first influenced was Cain the first son of Adam and Eve. Therefore God decided and ordered to forge two elements representing heaven to be given to the worthy, just and good; these two elements were forged by the Archangels: the element of Heavenly Fire (flame of Cryo) and the element of the Holy Grounds (soil of silver); they maintained the balance, seeing guardian angels forbidden to be seen by the unchosen. The worthies saw that there was something horrid happening in some of the humans that shook their hearts to terror. People who had been corrupted by greed, power, and callous conscience had no guardian angel but instead, replaced by a Guardian demon.

The Archdemons also forged two elements as ordered by Satan, the elements of Hell Water (water of Helle) and the Deathly Winds (wind of Deao). These elements were different; they perished all those in whom they touch. And these elements were given to the worst and nefarious beings.

The four elements were unique, for their origins were not from earth.  The fire gives life, the water dehydrates, the air suffocates and the last element’s power was still unknown.

The worthies who held the power of the elements that was given by the heaven were called the Septuagints of the divine who protects the throne of God the Creator. While the callous that held the power of the elements of hell were called Oneianecrons of the abyss who wants to replace the ruler of the heavens. They were born, to fulfill their obligations. Until this day they fight, in the dead of the night, when you close your eyes and enter your dreams.

They fight, outside your window they fight

 Silent… still they fight

Before the end…

Each element chose a being to represent their true powers, and it was said that they would appear when the end of days were near. These chosens were called Disceptarix (lat: the one who will judge) or the Pures. These beings had no parallel lives in other universe and were not controlled by destiny or fate.

When the four Pures completed in one universe… they will bring the beginning of the War of wars that could bring the end of all, even ideas, even thoughts, even justice, love, a death of death and everything before it.

Only one Disceptarix had not appeared yet, the Disceptarix of fire. When the last chosen appears, he would bear the power of the kingdom of the heavens, and decide who will prevail at the end of the war, the heaven or hell (although chosen by the heavens they cannot control their will, for a Disceptarix have a pure freewill, but he or she can’t escape being a chosen). The Septuagints and the Oneianecrons didn’t know when the last chosen will come, and if they knew, they will take actions, actions of desperation. They will fight and they will kill.

TOO LONG? Tell me about it.

As you can see, It has some issues that reveal too much of the story. I want the reader to figure it all out for themselves. Some mystery wouldn’t hurt, so I condensed the original prologue to a foreword.

There are many universes.

There are many you…

Thousands of your alternate entities that took a different path in life…

And all composed of an identical soul, body and spirit.

But there are four beings…

Beings that were born with pure souls, original bodies, and spirits unique among others.

No alternates among the endless universes.

They are the Pures… and they are the Disceptarix.

But their gift had a consequence...

From the time good and evil were born, heaven forged two elements

One made of fire and one made of silver.

Hell forged another two, now, made of water and air.

And the Divine Wheel was born.

A Wheel that bound the elements far from what we know.

The fire gave life – The Golden flames,

The water dehydrates – Water of Helle,

The air suffocates – Winds of Deao

And the last element’s power was still unknown…

Each Disceptarix shall bear the true power of an element given to them, and lead legions of mortals influenced by the Divine wheel to continue the battle since the birth of good and evil.

Before the end…

When the four Pures are completed in one universe… they would bring the beginning of a war that could deliver the end of all, even ideas, even thoughts, even justice, light, darkness and love; a death of death and everything before it.

And only one Disceptarix has not appeared… the Disceptarix of fire.

“There are many universes” that was the best hook I could think of, and the best way I can condense it to a non-offending matter. I remember an old dude said to me "It's never in quantity, you will win their hearts through quality"

"Dogs are great, but I'm a cat person"

Do you remember a line in the ugly truth saying “Dogs are great, but I’m a cat person” Well, I’m a cat person.

I love my dog “Heinz” (and yes I named him from tomato sauce brand) but I love the cats more, because they butt of their heads against your leg if they like you. The only thing I hate about cats are their darn clawssss. I seriously hate those.

Anyway, maybe I don’t like dogs because when I was 8, I was bitten by a stray. AND. I didn’t tell that to my parents or any living soul, until five years after. Do you know what that felt, I felt every year I might die, be crazy with the rabies (negri bodies – what makes rabies a rabies) reaching my sane mind. Oh yes, the symptoms will not be immediate as always. And also my current dog bit my wrist that made look I slit my wrist, well, not really, because it’s pretty obvious it’s a dirty cut.  

We have baby cats right now and I named them Remus and Romulus. Got that right, the brothers of the origins of the Roman Empire. I named Remus the other because he had an injury on his left leg, making it hard for him to walk and its sad (I know), while Romulus is the strong one but I know he loves his brother (unlike the actual Romulus that killed his brother).

Oh, another thing, My dog also bit my forehead once, and there was a dent of blood on there. But I still love him and I bark at him when he barks at me, and I’m more ruthless.

This a senseless post (:D) enjoy 

When a Job is a Dream

I had the longest sleep I had for months. And I’m thankful. *sigh*

After I got a professional license, I said to myself “meh”. I don’t know why, but it felt like it’s not a big deal. And before that, I’m looking for jobs and had interviews lined up for me. Then I passed and cancel all those interviews. Pretty stupid move eh? Yea, I’m pretty stupid.   

The following months, I heard my batch mates have their jobs and having their first salary. And I’m envious, they’re so mature with their working hours and al in between a grown up is doing. But as they work, I’m working also. I know most of them think I’m doing nothing but enjoy the months willed by me, by not finding a job. Well they are wrong.

The difference between their job and what I was doing is the salary, I have none, I think my only salary is that happiness that I give myself whenever I finished and polished a chapter. Yes, I’d been doing my book. I thought of artworks and such to correspond in each every chapter. I’m checking the flow of the paragraphs and finding the best way to deliver the very first sentence “the hook” in writer’s terms.

It sounds weird, but I’m happy being solitary and doing just that.

Mind you, I do well with other people, yes sometimes I’m weird but it’s a healthy weirdness. Anyway, the following months my batch mates were going to beaches, enjoying, partying (oh, they posted that to facebook) while I imprison myself inside my room thinking how a sentence would be beautiful without overflowing it with unnecessary words. Even after graduation, I worked with my book with a small expectation of success and a great unhealthy hope that I’m curing myself as we speak. Do you know what my parents gave me when I graduated? Three days stay in a five star hotel (I’m thankful, greatly, but I don’t think that necessary) $100, and a kindle fire (which I got next year after). And that the greatest present my parents had given to me. Especially the kindle fire, because it felt like destiny that my dad didn’t buy the iPad 2 because it’s far expensive. With the kindle fire, I can see what my book will actually looks like in the eyes of the reader.

So what’s the point here?

I think, dream, that’s the point here. I’m thankful I have a dream, a dream that I want to be given to anyone after my life. A legacy. A dream that worth fighting for. I don’t dream of fame, I dream of people fascinated about the strings of moments that is in a book that I have made. Bucause my dream life would be probably a home comfortable enough (I don’t like big houses), an owned library in a small town which I would go to everyday, a dog named Cornilious, a family that I will love unconditionally, and to write. There’s something greater joy than having parties ever Friday, having friends that really don’t know you. I have four friends that respect me and know me (which I have less contact with). I love that life (the first one), and I’m going to do it, but now, I have to find a day job first :D  

*warning* Science and Religion *warning*

When I was a child, Science intrigues me and still it does. There's something in explained things that seems fun and natural (this was when I was six, ), then came religion. Religion is derive on faith, faith that there is a creator that controls everything in all existence and beyond. I love religion, it gives us hope that something is still after this life, it gives us courage and inspire us to do more. Well, Science do that also, it inspires us to find and answer and push though the boundaries of our understanding of what we know as truth.

I thought about that since I learned the word ‘Homo Sapiens’ and the ‘Evolution’ and when I compared it with the ‘Genesis’. My mind keep (still keep) struggling to find what is the truth. (again, I thought of these during my early teens)

So there’s going to be a logical answer right?

I try to find the answer in many adults, see their view and such. But no one, not even close, answered my question. What is right? Science or Religion?

So I created my own explanation binding the two.

To explain my so called theory, mind you that I am very hooked in ‘the cosmos’ in the national geographic and fascinated about Evolution of animals and such (programs I watched: The Universe, Mythbusters, Discovery, etc). I love physics… quantum physics that explains things in a very bizarre way, Religion does that too.

Let’s start about… at the beginning… The Genesis I created in “theory”. So if ever another sentient being landed in this planet of ours (yes aliens… my God, I’m such a geek). My belief is intact.

I don’t believe Adam and Eve is even a human, I don’t believe they are even a species of some unknown planet out there (yes, there are billions of planets that same in the condition of our earth). I logically believe that they are… are you ready?...

The first consciousness… consciousness that they know that they have a creator. (Now I sound crazy)

So what does this means for science? It means Science know we are conscious, and to think logically, we are the evolution of the universe. Beings that conscious and appreciate the things surround him/her.

Do you believe me? I don’t care… I don’t believe myself either. I mean, who talks like that? Sadly, me.

Another is about the war of destiny and free will… but later about that (another blog).

First I would tackle the concept of a soul, body and the spirit.

I don’t know what the effin’ difference between the soul and the spirit. Do you know that? I bet no because you don’t know me. Anyways, I was raised a Christian, a Christian who asked his mom “Mom? Why so many religions” (other blog maybe). Then one day I realized something with this phrase “In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the holy Spirit”. I realized that God is a soul, that a spirit is the holy spirit (the holy dove) and The Son is the body.

“And in His likeness we are created”

And that was the start of why I wrote a book. The idea that every human has consciousness or as I perceive it… a soul and a spirit, which as I perceives it… an angel.

 I know, I’m crazy and I don’t completely believe that either so that’s why I wrote a book. A book of my truth, chosen to be read as fantasy.

But still there’s something about truth that seems off. Because we really don’t know that is the true truth. We make our own truths as we evolve as humans. And truth between science and religion is still blurry. I just hate divisions, all of it, and I don’t know what’s wrong of me thinking these kind of thoughts and ideas (I think I need a psychiatrist).

Faith, doesn’t inspire truth… but it guides us to the right path. Because faith is more than that, because faith is hope, a hope that your loved ones are alright, a hope that everything will be fine, hope to grow and a hope that there will be a day where divisions are eradicated (seems impossible… but I still hope)… and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.   

Trinity: The Divine Wheel

My book is live! (alive?)

To all who are reading this, you can purchase it now on Amazon. Here’s the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Trinity-The-Divine-Wheel-ebook/dp/B007UL0552/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334565955&sr=8-1

It will be free on April 17, 2012, so don’t worry. We just have to wait for the kdp program to work :D

Thank youuu!

Live long and prosper and may the odds be ever in your favor

The complete version of my book is now currently being published…

Um…

So what? No. That’s not the question. Who cares? (<this should be humorous, so imagine this as a funny question, ohh please smile)

This is the time of my life where the past four years, three months, (something*) days, (something*) minutes is for. Actually, the way I visualize it is something grand, (don’t worry this is just writer’s fantasy of mine) which there will be a magnificent event that I am published with an agent and all the publishers lining up in buying the rights of my book. 

But no.

Instead of that, I’m right here in front of my computer, having that emotional rollercoaster again that I don’t like a single bit. I’m not complaining; mind you, I really love my very small laptop attached to a very large screen and a small apple keyboard with a cheap 4D mouse. (And I also love my life, even some days I feel it sucks) 

But I think something is missing…

I don’t care whether I am published traditionally or by myself. I just want to be published, and a someone who can appreciate what I wrote/my idea, and I want that someone to be a stranger, a complete unbiased stranger.

I haven’t told this to my family and friends but I don’t want them posting reviews in Amazon that is saying “Oooohhhh, read this, It’s so a great book. Five stars!”, you know, all the generic stuff a great book should be commended about. But frankly, now that I’m looking at myself after all those years, I think my book is still great, even if others don’t like it (but no one said they don’t like it and no one said its good either). (That’s the spirit!) My other conscious self said to me.

   

You know only three persons in the whole wide universe ever did read my book? (I don’t know the others who downloaded it, maybe it’s still stuck in their kindles, digitally untouched) First one who read is a classmate of mine back in college, and she didn’t finished it. Second is my girlfriend (who I love) and she finished it and said it was great. Third is my editor. My mom supported me, she bought books in writing for me, inspirational stuffs but she still hasn’t read the book. I understand this because she gets headache when she read too much, eye problem. (I’m getting out of line here).

Those three people kept me going even ‘the odds are ever against my favor’. And I love them, especially including my mom. So if a stranger gave me a positive and an honest review of my work, even a single stranger, that would push me through the editing the book two (which currently 75% finished in it very first draft).

And, before I forget.

I have to apologize to some who download the teaser, because I didn’t reach the schedule release of the complete book (April 15, 2012). And don't worry, I want to shoot myself for that. Now, I’m just waiting for 10 hours until it go live.

Here’s the cover, (which I hope don’t suck, because I didn't sleep all night and dawn because of this): 

   

Now, I wont say to wish me luck. I'll say, thanks for reading and I wish you the best in your life.

Live long and prosper and may the odds be ever in your favor. (oh my... I'm such a geek)

TRINITY (teaser) up and running in Amazon

Okay… so where I am these past few weeks… (months?). Well, I’ve been finishing my book so it can be shiny/polished like a beacon of light greater than a gem. And all I can say… is... its all pain (weep*).

Later about my pain… other time maybe.

What I’m really about to say is, the first 11 chapters of my book is up in Amazon for free (yey! Please have look, ohh pretty pleaseeeeeee). This is just an advertising plan of mine, so I can be slightly known––and I hope it’ll work. The release of the whole book will be on Sunday April 15, 2012. And this deadline stresses me out! And why did I ever post a deadline (stupid me…) but a promise is a promise.

Okay, so here’s the… um… plot (it it’s any decent):

At 16, John probably proclaimed himself as a misfit. A misfit to his evil single mom, a bullied teenager and a hopeless romantic for a girl he cannot have. This is his life. But on an unlikely day, everything changed. Inside a vast library, he suddenly heard whispers from 11 books, hauntings and threats of angels, leading him into a well hidden world of secret organizations, unseen wars, guardian angels––and the discovery of guardian demons. 

Yes. It’s a fantasy, a teaser consists of 70,000 words more or less, so probably you will like it and… not so much. Here’s the link.

http://www.amazon.com/TRINITY-teaser-ebook/dp/B007SG4NC0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334031187&sr=8-1

Is the book cover creepy? No? Yes? Yea, probably yes.

At this exact time, it’s in the top #2,257 and I’m proud of that (laughs) and I’m proud the there are 89 people in the world who have the time to download it in their kindle (sigh*). Technically it’s been up since April 7, but I changed some issues I had with the submission. All that cleared, we have 16 hours of TRINITY (teaser) live in Amazon.  

Well, wish me luck!